Slow and Steady

Let's call it fate that I chose to begin this blog during the nascent stages of perhaps the most highly anticipated election in recent memory.

On this night: the Michigan primaries have come off and there is one undisputed fact that is emerging as law for this election year - the voters have absolutely no fucking idea who to vote for. In an ugly twist of fate, Mitt Romney has taken the Republican primary in his late father's gubernatorial "turf". Thanks dad!

Most of us only know "Mitt" for two things:

1) He looks like the father in "The Munsters".
2) He's a senator from Wyoming.

If you thought number 2 was actually true, don't worry - most of the country doesn't know the difference either. Romney's claim to fame is that he was once governor of Massachusetts. Yippee. Oh, and his dad owned Michigan. Thanks dad! McCain came in second with a very respectable showing, and somebody else came in third.

As for the Democrats, Hillary pulled out a commanding victory with a whopping 55% of the vote. She's finally flexing her muscle as the rightful heir to the female domination crown, and it has been widely rumored that Queen Elizabeth has already started asking Hil to Sunday tea. Way to go, Presidentress!

It should be mentioned, however, that neither Obama nor Edwards put their name on the ballot for Michigan, and that 40% of voters were termed "uncommitted". Statewide ads were run on behalf of both Obama and Edwards pleading for voters to cast for "uncommitted" (since the Michigan primary seems to have broken Democratic National Committee rules). I'm not going to explain the logistics of this strategy here, but let's just say that the state is basically a waste for Democrats. Meanwhile, Hillary's won her second state (theoretically) and John Edwards is an inch from being pushed out of the race. Thanks dad!

Well that's perfect. Just as we are all agreed that Republicans are BAD and Democrats are GOOD, and that we must unite to make the country better, the Democrats have basically trashed one of their major primaries. I know there are a lot more states but COME ON guys, let's at least show that we've got our shit together!

But honestly - there is a great and terrible fear that is hidden behind a thin veil of confidence in the apparent "evil" of the current administration. All logical peoples of the United States are counting on the formerly illogical peoples to make the proper choices this time around, despite any philosophical arguments of "right and wrong". All Democrats believe, in their heart of hearts, that there is a great number of Republicans who have converted since the previous electoral abortion.

The fear is that this is not only completely untrue, but that the few Republicans who were impacted by the idiocy of the last few years are actually on the fence, and that it wouldn't take much to push them back to the dark side. So when they see that most of Michigan's voters all voted for Hillary, and the rest are completely uncommitted to any candidate, it doesn't bode well for the conversion ratio. The Christian missionaries had it right, thousands of years ago. They all believed in the same thing, they all spoke at the same time, and they kept the savages in the dark.